In The Ways Of The Army
I went to the movies today and as everyone is busy doing their own things, I thought I’d walk afterwards for the emptiness in my heart to disappear. It was 3:00 AM and the world was sleeping in absolute silence. I searched inside my head for something to think about but there was emptiness. Random images and voices build up into a vague idea that quickly dissolves back into emptiness. I walked and walked, listening to the sound of water, and going back in time.
I have been raised in military surrounding. At the age of 7 and barely a meter in height, I got transferred to an army school close to our house. We had few of these in the 80’s and 90’s but they no longer exist. It was very strange and alien at first, the idea of rules to everything and teachers in classroom in military uniform, but our young minds were quick to adapt. Despite being very little, I took the school’s military code very seriously and never deviated from it. I learnt both dedication and discipline and I learnt order. I am now 25 and looking back, those 18 years I spent in the military had a huge impact on my personality. In the army, everything is clear cut. There are rules; there is black, and there is white, and there is nothing in between. There are fewer choices to make, and the defense always came after the punishment. I can now relate to occasions where analyzing, re-analyzing and overanalyzing a problem in search for the line between what is right and what is wrong has drained myself and those around me. A friend recently said he thinks I am an idealist and it is hard to live with the demands and boundaries I set. How do you extract from your brain a model of thinking you were raised up to embrace? It served me well for all these years and I do believe in it. Define the goal, define the challenges, set a strategy, pray to God you don’t screw up and do your best. At times, this seems like a bold way to cope but it works and good things often come out of the most unfavorable circumstances.
May 23rd, 2005 at 2:13 am
The style of your writing is spectacular. Mirrors not only the fact that you’re a man of principle, high standards and exceptional ideas; but relives a number of phenomenal perspectives of your life. I believe you’d be the author of a bestseller one day.
May 23rd, 2005 at 3:18 am
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May 23rd, 2005 at 8:09 am
The ways of the army seems too be so harsh of a title.. it makes it sound cruel and hard..
my dad brought us up in the same way.. i am not sure if it’s cuz he himself was also in an army or its the best way to bring discipline home..
i mean its true things are black and white.. but you often go through events in life where grey does exist.. not everything is cut clean for us..
probably with analysis you distinguish between what’s black and what’s white but still.. there are so many grey areas stil..
i don’t regret being brought up this way.. i actually believe it did all of us good.. true- we didn’t go to an army school.. but the school was brought to us at home =)
beautiful entry.. love your writings Sultan..
May 23rd, 2005 at 10:30 am
Pity such schools ceased to remain when there’s a generation that needs it most.
May 23rd, 2005 at 1:12 pm
“We learned that a former prisoner of war had more to teach us about what it takes to find a path to greatness than most books on corporate strategy” (Collins’s Good to Great)
“Define the goal, define the challenges, set a strategy, pray to God you don’t screw up and do your best” (e3ashig)
May 23rd, 2005 at 1:20 pm
that’s interesting, I do agree with Firebrand
May 23rd, 2005 at 2:37 pm
I felt sorry for little you I mean the way you said it 7 years and barely a meter I dont think I would bare it.Anyway maybe thats what made you the person you are today.Although I don’t know you personally still I can tell you are a great person.Yes, firebrand I strongly agree with what you said….but not for the really little ones like 7 years 7aram…there are still kids..
May 25th, 2005 at 1:01 pm
Vintage, your words are flattering, thanks.
su3asannor, glad that you enjoy your visits. Hope you are not getting bored of manchester.
uaeyah, I dont think i would have been the person I am if it was not for the army.
firebankd, s3eed, pureen, damirage, thanks for yoru feedback
June 1st, 2005 at 1:37 pm
[…] up in a small and delightful little village. I joined school at five, but then at seven, I transferred to a military school where I remained till the age of 13. The ministry of education then decided to dec […]
June 2nd, 2005 at 1:21 pm
the out come of militry school is always great we can look at out leaders and see how great they are.. they all have been in millitry school at some stage of their life.. Sultan you are a great person.. knowing you and being your friend is an honor thing to me…
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